Friday, October 28, 2016

Quote for the Day

Eight year olds have an iPhone, an iPod, an iPad and a MacBook. 
When I was 8, I felt cool with my new markers.

Funny Friday

Continuing on from the couple of cartoons about mobile phones (if you're American, read "cell phones") I posted a few days go, here is some further humour (if you're American, read "humor") on the same topic.

Mobile phones have become a ubiquitous part of modern living, especially for young people, so much so that Megan Fox commented "We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity."

Or how about . . . 

Enjoy Funny Friday and have a great weekend.

A family was on its way to the hospital where their sixteen-year-old daughter was scheduled to undergo a tonsillectomy. During the ride there, the teenager and her parents talked about how the procedure would be performed. Anaesthetics, incision, suturing afterwards, and so forth.

"Dad," the teenager asked, "how are they going to keep my mouth open during the surgery?"

Without hesitation, the man replied, "They'll just give you a cellphone to hold."

Speeding along at 60, there was a buzz from my mobile on the dashboard. 

"Your phone just went," said my wife. 

"It's only a text," I replied. "I'll check it when we get there." 

She picked up the phone, and looked at it suspiciously. Then she tapped the screen, scrolled down and started reading. "I thought so," she sneered. "It's yet another crap joke from Dave about women being bad drivers." 

"Watch the road," I snapped. "You just ran a red light."

I said to my mate, "You should treat your girlfriend the same way you treat your cell phone." 

He said, "What, take good care of her, and never lose her." 

I said, "No, upgrade every couple of years."

Whenever I delete an app on my iPhone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're panicking over who's next to go. 

Customer Care Executives (CCE) get all sorts of calls, some with genuine problems and some with no problem at all. There was this caller called David, who was paged by "Lucille." He was instructed that he would have to call her and tell her to stop paging him. "She never leaves any number, so I can't call her back," David said.

After sometime the CCE asked how he knew it was Lucille if she didn't leave a number. "She leaves her name," was the reply from David.

After establishing that the customer had a numeric-only pager, the CCE asked "How does she spell her name?" 

"L-O-W C-E-L-L" was the reply from David. 

Some years ago Michael Caine told of sitting near Her Maj, Queen Elizabeth, at a dinner and that Her Maj asked if he knew any jokes. Flustered at not knowing any clean ones to tell Her Maj, she told him this one:

Sales person: Hello, may I speak to the man of the house please?

Youngster: (whispering) No, he's busy.

Sales person: Well then, can I please speak to your mother?

Youngster: (in a whisper) She's busy too.

Sales person: I see, how about your brother or sister? Can I speak to him?

Youngster: (whispering) No. They're both busy too.

Sales person: (losing patience) Is there anybody else there I could talk to???

Youngster: (in a whisper) Yeah, the police are here... but they are busy too....

Sales person: ( by now quite exasperated) What are all these people doing that keeps them so busy?!!!

Youngster: (still whispering) Looking for me.


How true is this . . . 

Corn Corner:

“I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free."

Thursday, October 27, 2016

Quote for the Day

Mobile Phones

A Modern Curse

I do not like your mobile phone.
I do not like its ringing tone.
I do not like it here nor there;
I do not like it any where.

I do not like it on a plane,
nor when I’m on a crowded train;
not in a bus, not in a car,
not even in a crowded bar.
I do not want to hear it ping
or, even worse, Madonna sing.

I do not like the sound of pop;
that wretched noise has got to stop.
So let me make this mighty clear,
your phone, I do not want to hear.
And, should it ever start to ring,
I’ll come and smash the wretched thing.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Quote for the Day

(Said in the days when political incorrectness was the norm and when "courageous, skillful leaders" was synonymous with "men".)

Some news items yopu may have missed . . .

Thailand’s sex workers hit the streets in black lingerie

Thailand’s sex workers have returned to the streets 10 days after the nation’s beloved king Bhumibol Adulyadej died.

The country ground to a halt following the revered king’s death on October 13, as the government banned entertainment and work for 30 days.

But just more than a week after his death, scores of prostitutes were photographed on the streets in revealing maid’s outfits, black mini dresses and skirts, black boots and black garters out of respect for the king, reports The Sun.

Pictures snapped along Thai tourist hotspot Soi Cowboy in capital city Bangkok show sex workers — usually dressed in eye-catching bikinis — dressed in dark colours as they scout paying customers.
. . . .

Meanwhile, transgender sex worker Noi, 24, said: “We love the king. We love our country. The army understand this and they are letting us work again. “The bars are open and the ladyboys are back. We’re open for business and we want the man to come and see us. Most of us wear black now. Black underwear and black dresses. We still have to remember the king.’’

A five-storey apartment block shares a wall with a small semi

A five-storey block of units has been built on a small street in the Sydney inner west suburb of Lewisham — and it shares a wall with the single-level brick semi neighbouring it.

Number 8 William Street was sold earlier this year to GL Developments Group Pty Ltd for $1.61 million. It came with a Development Application (DA) already approved to knock it down and build seven apartments in its place. The former owners of the estate, Lewisham Estates Pty Ltd, applied for the DA in 2014 and were eventually given the thumbs up in 2015 after an appeal to the Land and Environment Court. The apartments are now in the final stages of construction.

The steadfast neighbour of the semi at number 6 William Street, Vincenzo Scaturro, isn’t thrilled about his new neighbours and it is believed that he and his family are now open to surrendering to developers themselves. They have lived in the home since the 1990s. Members of the Scaturro family also own number 2 and 4.

An image from a Daily Mail article on the same topic

Another home in a similar situation in Hurlstone Park, Sydney

'Over the Rainbow': Save the Ruby Slippers Project Passes $300K Goal

Smithsonian officials are "over the rainbow" after reaching their fundraising goal to help preserve the ruby slippers from "The Wizard Oz." 
The Smithsonian launched a Kickstarter campaign last week to raise $300,000 to help preserve the slippers that whisked Dorothy back to Kansas at the end of the movie. 
Officials say they reached their goal late Sunday night thanks to more than 5,300 supporters in 41 countries across six continents. They say they'll announce a stretch goal Monday involving a character who traveled down the yellow brick road with Dorothy. 
The slippers have been one of the most beloved items at the National Museum of American History. The Smithsonian wants to put the money toward a technologically advanced display case that will preserve them for future generations. 

(Am I the only one who thinks that that is a bit over the top simply for making the sequins shiny again on a pair of shoes? Especially since there were 5 pairs made for the movie.

Tuesday, October 25, 2016

Quote for the Day

“If I had put a piece of coal between the cheeks of my arse there would have been a diamond come out of it."

- Journalist John Irvine on The Project last night when asked if he felt afraid when he was with a convoy in Mosul attacked by ISIS suicide car bombers.

More about Murals and some Graffiti Wisdom


My daughter pointed out to me that the building art I posted yesterday featured the same house twice, so that they are quite probably photoshopped:

My apologies, mea culpa.

Whilst talking of street art, did anyone else see the news item about the removal of a street art mural at the Vatican? 

The mural showed Pope Francis as a graffiti artist using peace symbols to play noughts and crosses, whilst a Swiss guard checked for passers by. It was made by street artist Mauro Pallotta, who signs his work "Maupal", and consisted of painted paper made in his studio and applied to the wall with glue and lacquer. I use the past tense because the Vatican authorities. Known as the "Decorum Squad of the City of Rome", who blasted the artwork off the wall with high-pressure water sprays.

Criticism has been directed to the Decorum Squad, known locally as "the decorum cops", for removing popular art while unsightly graffiti remains on many buildings and garbage piles up because of a collection backlog.

Last year, the decorum cops removed Pallotta's image of the Pope as Superman taking off into the air and carrying a black briefcase bearing the word “valores,” Spanish for values.

Mauro Pallotta with previous mural


Some graffiti wisdom . . .

Monday, October 24, 2016

Quote for the Day

Australian Senator David Leyonhjelm, on Donald Trump’s comments on women:

"He is a man of his times, perhaps. So perhaps you could cut him a little bit of slack."
Elizabeth Donelan, elderly female reader, in a letter to Senator Leyonhjelm:

“I have NEVER heard men commenting upon women in such a despicable way as Trump has in the recently released quotes. You appear to me to be a similar age to Trump and should NEVER condone this attitude or these words."
Email reply from Senator Leyonhjelm:

"Go away and stop proving you are a bimbo. You are not fit to use a computer."
Email from Senator Leyonhjelm’s electoral office when confirmation was sought by a reporter that he had responded as above:

"You can quote a spokesperson from Senator Leyonhjelm's office as follows: 'We are greatly concerned by this email. Usually he just tells constituents who make things up to fuck off. We are worried he may be mellowing'."


Building Art